Rough play in a modern world

As we move through some, ahem, 'interesting' times in the political realm both here and in the US, it is easy to see why we are all a little bit tired. The world feels a little bit rough around the edges and heading off on tangents I for one, am not that excited to see. Division, anger and hate seem to be words that are blurted out at us from our screens, into our ears and landing with a hard thump in the heart. We all cope with these challenges in our own way. I am finding solace in nature, buried in my flower or vegetable garden - breathing in the calm and being thankful for what I have here with me in my abundant life. This is my play. It is gentle, quiet and for me very soothing. My garden calls to me. A quiet but strong urge. I don't know why I love getting dirt under my nails, why picking flowers and arranging them makes my heart soar. All I know is that it comes from somewhere deep inside. A biologically driven urge that I don't have control over.

In The Gully at the moment we are seeing many of the children's play urges being driven from deep inside. Children engaged in their learning and satisfying those biological urges is a thing of beauty to behold! Transforming, connecting, transporting, enclosing, throwing, taking risk and of course all the elemental play which nature so generously gives to us - earth, fire and water! And for the first time we are seeing a huge group of children with an overwhelming urge to engage in rough play. The urge to grab, push and pull each other all in the name of play, and they LOVE it. The faces are pure joy of those children engaged. But boy, its a tough watch as a peace loving adult isn't it? To the adult eye it all looks a bit scary and unpleasant at times.

This week showed that observant, tuned in adults are essential when children are engaging in this kind of play. The children need someone who knows when to step back and butt out, when to guide and when, at times, to redirect play that is starting to feel unsafe. Supporting children to have a voice when things feel rough around the edges is an important part of teaching children through play. Noticing those children who need someone to support their mana in times where others might be stomping on it, and giving them these tools to use when they are off in the wider world is also part of our role. Like wise, supporting the 'stompers' to realise their actions are like throwing a pebble in the water - the ripples can be felt by many and for a surprisingly long time. There is no room for blame or shame in these moments of learning, after all the children are just acting on those urges of which they have no control. In fact this week our whakatauki was "Mistakes are my stepping stones to learning and growing" which allowed a for a relevant pathway to connect our experiences during our end of day Rose, Bud and Thorn reflection time, in a safe and non judgemental way.

On the flip side, bubble wrapping our children, suppressing their urges, shutting down play and giving blanket rules of 'no fighting' takes away the opportunity for children to act out these urges and learn to control and outplay them appropriately. In the long run this could result in children being in some challenging moments come adolescence where they are presented with situations without having practiced these skills in safe environments.

But what if they are trusted to play? Maybe that punch wont be thrown in the heat of the moment? Maybe they may notice someone who is a victim and needs help to get to a safe place? Maybe these skills learned in play will be those life long skills needed to live a rich and rewarding life?

So let's continue to support children's right to play - even when it can be challenging for us. Let us give them the childhood they deserve in order to have the happy adulthood they will need in an unknown world. We need people who are strong to the core with a strong voice, an unwavering sense of self, a sense of what is right and wrong, a belief in justice and knowing when to join in the fight (or the hikoi) and when to walk away.

Yours in nature

Kathy